


They Don't Love You Like I Love You

by no_fun_club



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 00:44:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7411792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/no_fun_club/pseuds/no_fun_club
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Though it's never been great, Frank can't remember a time where it's really been bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Don't Love You Like I Love You

"Shh, it'll be fine, you'll be okay," Frank muttered, pushing a black strand of hair out of Gerard's face and tucking it back behind his ear. He trailed his fingers back under the boy's chin and lifted it gently, meeting his tear-filled eyes, "I promise."

A pained expression struck Gerard's face and he quickly brought his head back down, closing his eyes before the tears could reach them. He shuffled closer to Frank, though the bunk where they were both laying didn't let them have much space to begin with. He hid his face in the shorter man's chest and clung to his shirt where he could grip it, clutching it between trembling fingers.

"D-don't promise, Frank, you don't know," Gerard whimpered, not looking at Frank, "You don't know, you can't know."

When the older boy whimpered once more and Frank felt tears wetting the fabric of his shirt again, he moved a bit so he could sneak an arm under Gerard and press him closer to his body, bringing them both further back into the bunk until his shoulders bumped against the wall of the bus. He brought his hand up to Gerard's head and softly ran his fingers through his hair, sighing when he felt the other relax against him. He closed his eyes, his fingers still trying to make something out of Gerard's hair, and released his grip around Gerard's middle slightly. 

Every time he closed his eyes, the only thing that popped inside of his head were images after images of drunken nights spent like things, with Gerard breaking down after he finally decided to stop drinking for the night. Sleepless nights spent on his side besides Gerard, waking up every few minutes to make sure he had not rolled on his back and stopped breathing. Sleepless nights with his arms locked around Gerard's torso to make sure he didn't wake up during the night and get the brilliant idea to go out for a walk while still heavily under the influence. Sleepless nights Frank didn't mind spending awake if it was to make sure Gerard would still be alive when the sun finally decided to rise.

After a while, Gerard's breathing evened out and Frank stilled the hand running through the mess of black hair, thinking the boy had gone to sleep. When he looked down to make sure of it, he found Gerard's open eyes staring back at him, though he could not decide what the expression on his face meant.

"I'm sorry," Gerard said, his voice shaking only slightly, still in a way better state than it had been just a few minutes ago.

Frank tightened his grip around him, and shook his head sleepily, returning his stare, "Don't be."

Gerard sighed and softly pushed himself out of the smaller man's embrace, just far enough away to still be able to feel his body heat. He brought one of the hands that he was keeping close to his chest over Frank's, and started tracing patterns on it, over his shirt.

They both kept silent for a while, Gerard still drawing mindless pictures on Frank's chest even after the boy rolled on his back, bringing both of his arms under his head, careful not to elbow Gerard in the face. Frank was staring at the bunk above them, trying to make sense of the pictures being drawn on his chest while still turning and returning thoughts in his head. It took him a while to realize the hand on his chest had stopped its restless movements and was now resting, palm down, applying a small pressure on his skin. 

Frank held his breath, not quite aware he was doing it, when the hand moved up, now resting over his breastbone, slightly on the left. Frank could have almost believed Gerard was trying to feel his heartbeat, but his question was not answered when he turned his head and found Gerard in seemingly deep thought, staring at his hand. Frank looked at his face, studying the frown on his brow and the slight curve in his lip until he found eyes staring back into his. He turned his face away, for some reason feeling guilty of having disturbed Gerard's apparent concentration.

"Frank?", Gerard pushed himself up on the hand still pressed over Frank's heart, laying on his elbow so he could have a better view of Frank's face.

Frank brought his gaze back on Gerard's face, where the older boy was still staring insistently at him, "Hmm?"

"Thank you," Gerard said, cocking his head to the side, leaving Frank slightly uncomfortable, like Gerard was staring at him beyond any expression that could have been showing on his face.

"You don't need to-" Frank was suddenly shut up when Gerard's lips met his in a slow kiss, and the hand on his chest was moved up to cup his jaw.

Gerard pulled back after only a few sweet seconds that felt like an eternity to Frank, in the best of ways. He had to hold himself back from touching his lips, almost not believing Gerard's had been there only a moment ago.

Gerard bit back a smile at the unbelieving expression etched on Frank's face and let his elbow slide until he was laying back against Frank's side, shuffling closer. He rested his head against his shoulder and closed his eyes, whispering against the other boy's ear again, "Thank you."

"Oh. Huh," Frank coughed a few times, trying to make some sense out of his thoughts again, "No problem."

After a few minutes, Frank heard Gerard's soft snores in his ear, meaning the man had once for all passed out for the night. He stayed there, completely still for an instant before a small smile made its way to his face before he could hold it back. He turned back on his side, bringing both of his arms back around Gerard and hiding his face in the older boy's hair. He could already see the first rays of sunshine beginning to appear through the pulled curtain of his bunk but he didn't mind, he didn't mind at all.

It was just another one of those countless sleepless nights Frank didn't mind spending awake if it was to make sure the man he loved would still be there to love him back when the sun finally decided to rise.


End file.
